Oh boy do I ever meet loving, well intentioned, giving people that do not understand why they can't find someone to love them back. They are so perplexed, distraught, and disheartened because they are unlucky in love. They believe that maybe love is not in the cards for them.
And then I hear the saddest thoughts of all:
What's wrong with me?
Maybe I'm not good enough, not pretty enough, or not smart enough?
I ask them what they would like to receive from their future mate.
They give me great answers such as:
Respect
Care
Patience
Encouragement
Loyalty
Trust
Unconditional Love
I know this scenario all too well, for it was me too. I gave and gave, hoping that my loving nature would be so infectious and intoxicating, that the man I was loving on at the time, would surely reciprocate. It simply did not make sense that no matter how hard I tried, it never worked. I was left feeling betrayed and depleted. I would turn in on myself, make myself wrong, and try to be better in any way I could - prettier, more loving, more capable... That did not work either.
If this story resonates with you, my question for you is:
How much do you love, honor, respect, value, self-care and self-nourish yourself?
This is where the connection lies. Here is the truth that answers the tragic question of why you cannot find someone to love you back:
No one will love, honor, respect, value, care for, and nourish you more than you do for yourself.
You may have heard this powerhouse of a statement before, and maybe you think you are being and doing those things for yourself. My conviction is that you are not, because if you were, you would be in love with someone right now who treated you right and eagerly loved on you. This is not meant to judge you dear one. This is meant to awaken you to the truth. It is the most loving I can be right now because I sincerely care about you. Please read my words with the utmost compassion as we dive deeper in the truth.
You see, when we love, honor, respect, value...ourselves, it carries a very high frequency. This what you are sowing. You reap what you sow - which includes how your thoughts and how you treat yourself and others. What is your sowing frequency? Our frequency lies deep inside of us and it is an energy. Yes, science is involved in your dating life. Everyone and everything has a frequency. I can prove it.
When someone is angry, can you feel it? When someone is kind and loving, can you feel it? When someone is confident, can you feel it? When someone is down on themselves, can you feel it? We try to hide our insecurities with pretty adornments or expensive cars or by being extra giving and loving, but they are still there and they carry a frequency. The Law of Attraction states that like frequency attracts like frequency. You, the well-intentioned giving, loving person that cannot find someone to love you back, are attracting someone with a similar frequency - someone who also loves themselves to the degree that you love yourself.
The Law of Attraction and it governs our Universe. Our love toward ourselves is a frequency. It magically tells others how much to love us.
Now that we know what is happening, and that Love is the answer, we can move forward with Love toward ourselves and others.
Problem: Loving ourselves is really difficult for most of us in the beginning.
Why is it so hard?
Most people who lack love for themselves did not feel truly loved as children or a positive love relationship was not emulated to them as they grew up. When we do not receive these nourishing traits in childhood, we grow up and have to build it into ourselves on our own. Some do not ever want to admit that our well-meaning parents were not up to par with us. Some do not see that our parents did the best they could with what they had been taught, and are unable to forgive and move onward and upward. These are big obstacles.
I grabbed every self-help class and book I could get my hands on and slowly I was able to turn the self-loathing tide into brilliant self-Love. All of my courses are designed to awaken you to your own love and brilliance.
My hope is that this blog awakened you to make one step, however tiny, into loving You.
In fact, before you close this up, commit to doing something incredibly decadent for yourself this week.
Contact Me! I love Questions!
With Accountability, Love, and some Fun,
Kim O