Updated: Nov 11, 2019
I recommend reading my other blog entitled: How to Conduct Yourself on the First Few Dates. You can then approach my thoughts on kissing on the first date with a broader background of wisdom and awareness...because I am most likely going to shock you with my answer here.
I actually do believe it is okay to kiss on the first date, but I have some stipulations:
First, no handsy exploration allowed with this kiss.
Just a kiss.
It can be slow and romantic, whatever fits the mood of your date.
But, keep it in the lip region only and do not let it drag on into a high school make-out session.
A forehead kiss can be super romantic and sweet too.
If you do not have any self-control...
(the last but most vitally important Fruit of the Spirit: Love Joy Peace Patience Kindness Gentleness Goodness Faithfulness & SELF CONTROL)
...and do not think you could keep your kiss brief, I would actually question whether you could handle dating to reap your keeper. You might not be ready. The person ready to reap their keeper knows that they need time to discover if they are a match without clouding their judgement with the physical, as the previous blog explained.
I do believe a kiss can help you in the filtering department. Filtering is a top priority for the intentional dater seeking their healthy relationship. As I teach, be picky and filter quickly if you are serious about receiving the one for you. You had to have done some HeartWork to know exactly what you are filtering. My compatibility compass helps you do just that. (Check out my course on compatibility .)
Like a painting, a kiss speaks a thousand words and tells you a huge amount about your date. If romance and sensuality is of any importance to you, the kiss will tell you volumes. Do you want to compromise in such an important area? I assume not.
I have compromised in this area. I am a romantic at heart. I swoon at romance novels and movies. Pride & Prejudice is my favorite movie. It was really difficult shutting this part of me down to be with someone that did not have the same attitude and flow toward kissing. My soul felt like it was dying for that part of me wanted to express itself so vivaciously. I had to quiet her and shut her down.
When you shut down essential parts of your being for the sake of relationship, you will never be satisfied. The longing will consume you.
So, you have my stamp approval to go in for the kiss, and only the kiss on the first date.
If it is not a match, you can kindly tell your date in a text that the chemistry just wasn't there for you. This is honest and kind and much preferred over ghosting.
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