I have PTSD
Updated: Jun 6, 2019
Labels/diagnosis's can help, but they can also hinder.
How did my label/diagnosis help me?
When I was told I have PTSD, I felt relieved. Finally, my feelings and struggles were justified. I wasn't crazy. I felt acknowledged. I felt understood. There was a reason for my madness.
My diagnosis came AFTER I had underwent major heartwork, coaching and had created healthy mind/skillsets for myself to thrive in life, not just survive.
I was feeling perplexed by the fact that I still had these moments of deep despair, self-doubt, uncertainty and struggle. I repeat, MOMENTS. WHY? My mentor helped me see the that I had been carrying deep shame inside since I was 4 and that there are many layers to deep emotional healing of shame. It takes diligence, time, effort, non-judgement, and constant compassion with ourselves to stay in a healthy attitude and place.
As a student of psychology, I further learned that when traumatic events happen to children under the age of 7, the impact is much greater or more damaging to their being. Which means, the heartwork needed to shift these tragic cellular imprints is much more demanding. I fall in this category. I don't expect I can ever just coast in life. Knowing that, empowers me. I accept this truth. Each day I must engage with my Jesus tools (as I like to call them) in order to combat the internal uglies and remember who I really am...a child of the Most high.
Because of the heartwork I have done, I can observe these tough moments and not be overtaken or overwhelmed by them. I have the mind/skillsets to process them rather quickly. Verses like, "Greater is He that is in you than he that is in the world," have taken root because of this heartwork I have done. I can believe the Divine promises to me. I chose to believe that verse, that I have Divine power and strength because I am made in the image of the Divine on the night I flushed my Xanax addiction down the toilet for good. "Draw near to God and God will draw near to you," really works!
How can a label/diagnosis hinder you?
The biggie: using it as an excuse to stay where you are. Do nothing. Remain a victim rather than a Victor.
A great section of the Bible tells us our trials "make us mature and complete, not lacking anything," our label or diagnosis is that very opportunity - to do the heartwork, become mature and complete.
Is it easy?
Some days yes, some days no.
Isn't that life?....some days are bliss...some days are wrought with hardship.
Isn't that relationship?...some days are a fairytale, some days you want out.
Doing life with your diagnosis, without the heartwork, the help of a mentor or coach, the pain and the hurt take over, not leaving much room for peace and joy. I know, I was there.
Getting up and facing life without believing you are Divine, and have access to Divine knowing, wisdom, and developing a healthy mind/skillset is a real-life nightmare. Trying to do dating or relationship, even worse.
Becoming a Coach is part of my HeartWork of managing my PTSD because using your Divine-given gifts to love and serve others, keeps you on the healthy path.
Make no mistake, Coaches are not perfect either. But Coaching, or whatever else is your gift, your passion, will set you free and keep you free.
My prayer is that this message will inspire you to let your label/diagnosis help you create understanding, but also to encourage you to get help so that you can thrive, you can have a healthy, passionate life and relationship, and only visit your uglies, but have the tools to get back on track quickly, like me.
With Accountability, love, and some fun,